Jails, institutions & death

Mugshot taken: 2009

​15+ charges
6+ jail visits
5+ bond violations 
4 inpatient rehabs
4 court ordered classes
4 probation officers
3 outpatient rehabs
2 hospital visits
2 sober living houses
2 totaled cars
1 defeated addict ready for a new life...

Even with all thosenumbers, everything listed above, there was no outside force that was going to get me to quit using. There was no getting better until I was truly and absolutely ready within myself to stop. What finally got me sober was the emotional rock bottom, that feeling of emptiness and solitude all of us addicts know too well.

Addiction leads to negative consequences and traumas, near death experiences and many relationships ruined... But as addicts and alcoholics, we will not change until we are completely defeated spiritually and emotionally; being ready for change and that moment of clarity can only come from within ourselves. It’s then, and only then, that we become willing to listen and do absolutely whatever it takes to never go back!

Jails, institutions and death. When I read those three words all I feel is an overwhelming amount of GRATITUDE. I had multiple rock bottoms, they always got worse as I continued to use, but none of them put me six feet under. And if that’s not a good enough reason to be extremely grateful every day, I don’t know what is.