Drug runs

Picture taken: 2010

​This picture was taken during my last relapse on our way to Denver to score our DOCs (drugs of choice). The weeks following this run were complete chaos. Multiple day benders, hotel rooms, totaled car, fired from my job, left with no place to live and ended in handcuffs.

Honestly, although this relapse took me to a dark place... it was the rock bottom that I needed. Without hitting rock bottom as hard as I did, I may not be sober today. I’m truly blessed to have made it out alive. More importantly, I’m blessed I didn’t hurt anyone else on my destructive path. 

At the time, I wanted to die; I didn’t think there was any hope of a better life. Part of what keeps me clean today is the fact that I never want to experience those deep dark feelings ever again.

Looking back now, I am actually lucky to have experienced those feelings of absolute misery. It was that emptiness and hopelessness that forced me to change my life forever. And my life today is better than I ever could have imagined.