The drive that almost took 5 lives

Time: 2010
Place: Glenwood Springs, CO

This story was told to me from multiple sources, I have no recollection whatsoever of the majority of this day...

I’m driving down a windy mountain road, I look over at Nick* and I have a devilish smirk on my face. I’ve been told about this smirk before, it’s the smirk I get when alcohol has taken over and I’m going to have no recollection of my actions. I can’t keep the car on the road, Nick is yelling at me to chill on my driving but I’m not paying any attention to him. I’m all over the place and swerve into the left lane, right into oncoming traffic. All of the sudden we are going full speed at a car with a family in it. I pull the wheel right just in time to avoid a head on collision... but I over correct and drive my car off the right side of the road. I make the car go almost completely 90 degrees sideways on the dirt hill off the shoulder, luckily avoiding flipping the car. I regain control but not before slamming and driving over multiple rocks and boulders. My car is banged up, my bumper is falling off, but even worse, I just put multiple lives at risk. I get back to Nicks house safely, with a near totaled car and a flat tire. I was arrested blackout drunk and high less than a week later for unrelated events.

The worst part about this story: it was 12pm when this happened. Noon! I had consumed enough alcohol, on top of all the uppers, to still have zero memory. I’m not proud to admit that I drove blackout drunk often, these moments are ones that bring lots of shame. But I do feel absolutely blessed that no one was ever hurt by these decisions. The only things hurt were myself and a few of my cars, I can live with that!

Point I’m trying to make is our actions while in active addiction can bring a lot of guilt and shame. I have many more examples of this in my story, the point is we have to learn to forgive ourselves. We aren’t defined by our pasts and there’s no rewinding time. We need to focus on our present selves, being the best version we can be and only worry about the one thing we have control over: the future.