It happens so fast...

Time: June, 2010
Place: Motel 6, Longmont CO

My last relapse lasted only a month long. It was a very long month. In that time, I crashed my car twice, blew through all my savings, got fired from my job, destroyed multiple friendships and ended it in yet another arrest. It all started with me thinking I could just smoke some weed. 

▪️Day 1- smoked some weed, enjoyed a movie and some munchies, life is good. 
▪️Day 2- morning bowl, smoke like a pothead all day, no big deal. Maybe a I can drink tonight? I drink.
▪️Day 3- pothead, didn’t drink in the morning, I totally got this, I don’t have a problem, drink that night. 
▪️Day 4- drinking from the bottle first thing in the morning... 
4 DAYS! 4 days and I was back to drinking first thing in the morning. I had hit a rock bottom as low as this one before, but over the next month my life spiraled downhill out of control faster than it had ever spiraled in my entire life.

I vividly remember this Motel 6. I made a trip down to Boulder searching for as much blow and molly as I could afford. I found molly and went on a 3 day bender, meeting up with an ex-girlfriend and locking ourselves in a room with the bag of powder and a bottle of rum. I called my best friend crying as I came down, telling him I didn’t know what had happened but that I had lost control... You would think that would have been enough but I continued on sleeping a night and going a few days staying up. I showed up blackout drunk in my beat up Subaru to my old sober house, getting kicked off the property. I was arrested black out drunk, high as a kite on 06/22/2010. Story of that night is in a previous post. 

This was a long time ago... will be 8 years this coming June. But remembering these times are so important still to this day. ONE decision, ONE moment of weakness and my entire world could crumble. I know I’m not alone in this... and we have to forgive ourselves for our pasts but we can never forget where we came from!
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