DUI

DUI
Place: Ex-girlfriends parking lot, 2008
Lafayette, CO

Like most nights, Julie* and I ended up in a heated argument. My ex-girlfriend Mandy* was texting and calling repeatedly for no good reason, probably had a few drinks of her own. Julie was the protective type, I mean very protective. I told Julie to not worry about it, that I wasn’t going to respond but that wasn’t enough for her. It wasn’t long until she left the apartment in a hurry. She didn’t know where Mandy lived, but she was determined to find out.

Julie doesn’t know where Mandy lives, but I do, so we end up driving that direction. We pull up to find that Julie not only found her place, but she is on top of Mandy, landing fist after fist. I pull my Jeep to a screeching halt in the middle of the parking lot and we all jump out. I pull Julie off but not before she lands a few solid kicks. My buddies pick up Mandy and take her to other end of the parking lot. Mandy is screaming “look what she did to me!” her face barely recognizable under the tears and blood. 

A few minutes after we broke the two up, a few cop cars arrive, probably called in by a neighbor. They pull everybody aside and start their usual questions, I don’t say shit, because that’s we do, we don’t talk to cops. Mandy is continuing to yell about “she did this to me”, Julie is placed in the back of my Jeep to keep them separated. One of the cops asks “who’s car is this?”, I raise my hand. “How much have you had to drink tonight?” They start performing their roadside tests, I fail every test because I can’t keep my drunk, shit talking, mouth shut. They start talking about taking Julie to jail for assault. I lose it, I start yelling about how if they take her to jail I am going to make their lives a living hell, blah blah drunken shit talk. Julie and I had our dysfunction, but I had her back no matter what, especially with cops. Somehow they just wrote her a court summons for assault and let her go. They cuffed me up and brought me in, I was out later that night/early morning. Lesson learned? Not even close, I rolled and totaled my Jeep blackout drunk a month later.