Chasing the feeling of normal

When all you ever grew up doing was breaking the law, doing drugs and getting drunk, then that’s just what you do... it’s all you know. You surround yourself with like-minded people with similar pasts who are making similar lifestyle choices. And when this is what you’re around 24/7, it just becomes your “normal”. You get so deep, you truly don’t realize there’s even another way to live.

Don’t get me wrong I had some amazing, supportive and loving people in my life who always wanted nothing but the best for me. But towards the end I avoided them at all cost. I only wanted to surround myself with the people that reinforced the lifestyle I wanted to live. Constantly chasing that “this is normal” feeling, without ever coming close to achieving it. I left myself get to a dark place that most people would never let themselves get to.

Normal people don’t drink at 9am because thats the only thing that will make their shakes go away. Normal people don’t blackout every time they pick up a drink and end up in jail every few months. Normal don’t smoke, swallow or smoke any substance put in front of them. Normal people aren’t constantly out on bond, having their heart sink every time they see red and blue lights. Normal people have a job, a car and a roof over their head. And normal people don’t have to rationalize with themselves on a daily basis because of how fucked up they’ve let their life get.

My life today is a complete 180 of what it used to be. I actually strive to be the best version of myself every day. To me that means pursuing my passions, taking care of my body and mind, being a genuinely positive person and, most importantly... being a good father to my beautiful baby girl. My life today is a dream compared to how it used to be. Every day I wake up grateful because this life is such a blessing!