The question... "Why don't you drink?"

I used to get this question a lot, especially when I first got sober. I still get this question sometimes and my answer varies. Depending on who is asking, sometimes my answer is “my life is just better without it” or sometimes it’s “unless you’ve got a handle of Admiral Nelson, a bag of blow and want to lock yourself in a hotel for a few days, I probably shouldn’t”... it depends on what kind of mood I’m in that day... LOL

But in all seriousness, what I really want to tell people when they ask why I don’t drink is... it’s because I’ve learned myself enough to know that my brain doesn’t work the same as most. When that first drink hits my lips, something happens to my brain, a switch is flipped in me that I can’t explain. I want more, more and more and nothing in my life will stop me from consuming more. It’s the only thing I think about, how I’m going to stay drunk and get high next. Everything in my life can be crumbling around me, relationships getting destroyed and I WILL NOT STOP until I am physically stopped... usually meaning a few cops, handcuffs and a jail cell.

I know this plays a role in my all or nothing mindset today, I’m just wired to obsess over whatever it is I’m obsessing over in that moment. I’ve learned to obsess over positive things in my life: my daughter and being a good father to her, my career/hustle, fitness, etc. You can’t take my addict mindset away, I know for a fact it will always be there. But I know today I can funnel that mindset into building a life of love, success and happiness... and those are great fucking things to obsess about!